twitterology…

Ever checked your twitter feed and had the thought, “Man, if I only could be as good of a Christian as my twitter feed tells me to be.”

That’s twitterology…

Ever been on instagram and thought, “Man, I wish I had the great life like they do.”

That’s twitterology…

Ever checked out someone’s blog and thought, “Man, I’ll never get as many followers as they have.”

That’s twitterology…

We live in a day and age where social media reigns supreme. The fact is, the greater your reach and influence is on social media the larger platform you have for your voice to be heard. When I say twitterology it’s an all encompassing term, meaning all forms of social media, from your twitter account to your blog and every platform in between.

Twitterology is a life lived confined to 140 characters, a coveted instagram feed, and a popular blog. It’s a life lived in the social media world. It’s a life that looks beautiful from the screen of a MacBook, iPhone, or iPad.

But what if there’s life outside of social media, beyond 140 characters, and way from the false reality of instagram.

A live lived with no filters, hash tags, or likes.

I know it sounds scary and kind of harsh but what if you really started living life in person once again.
Think about it…

Instead of trying to get that perfect instagram post of our kids and having them do the really cute thing they just did over again, you just lived in the moment.

Instead of sitting on the couch tweeting all the great quotes from Nacho Libre as you watch it, you actually just sat there and laughed with your family.

What if you closed all your social media feeds for a while and became an active participant in the conversations going on around you?

What if we really started living life in the beautiful mess that it is instead of trying to create the façade of the amazing social media life we want everyone to believe we live?

This is my goal for the year…

I spent the last eighteen months of my life living in the “Christian” social media capital of the world, Nashville, Tennessee. I happened to work at a church where a lot of these people attended and were on staff.

In one year I went from having ninety-two followers on twitter to close to eleven hundred. I went from having no likes on my instagram post to more than some of my silly pictures ever should of.

The problem was that I had the false idea that I had to keep this life up, the more likes and followers I had the more influence I believed I had.

But in the pursuit of influence in the social media world I lost my influence in the world that mattered the most, my family.

I leveraged my family for social media…

I remember times my boys telling me, “Get of your phone daddy I want to play with you.” These words still haunt me.

I left Nashville over two months ago and have stepped away from the pursuit of influence in the social media world and have started pursuing forgiveness from my family.

I’m living in the beautiful mess that life is and I love it. I’m learning to live life beyond 140 characters and I encourage you to do the same thing.

I’m learning to redefine twitterology day by day…

The Un-forgiving Saw…

I work at a machine shop and in this shop we have a lot of large industrial machinery. Each machine has a different function and makes a different type of part we manufacture. These machines are very precise in nature and as a result are not very forgiving of mistakes, especially in regards to operator error. Ninety-nine percent of the time when a mistake occurs it is because of an operator error; very rarely does a machine make a mistake.

There is one machine though that is feared more than the others, it even has it’s own scary story, a nasty reputation of smashing and severing fingers.

It’s “the saw”.

It’s not just your average type of saw, it’s a large very powerful industrial saw. We use it to cut different types of pipe and steel and brass. It has an automatic vise to hold what it’s cutting in place. It has a very large sharp blade that makes precise cuts.

This machine is not forgiving at all. If any mistakes happen with this machine it’s always because of operator error and usually ends with a trip to the Emergency Room.

This machine looks very cold and harsh; it’s dirty and grimy. It’s old, grumpy, and slow. It’s rusty, the paint is faded, and it smells like old burnt oil and metal.

This machine more than any other machine in the shop is described as the most unforgiving and harsh to use.

Last week I had the pleasure to spend about four hours with “the saw” cutting two and a half inch stainless steel pipe. While I was standing there staring at “the saw” in all it’s glory I couldn’t help but think about this idea of how unforgiveness in my life looks exactly like this machine.

Think about it…

Unforgiveness is the result of an old hurt that we have been slow to forgive.

Think about how unforgiveness feels…

It’s feels cold and harsh. It has a dirty feeling about it.

And if were not careful will we end up with the same type of reputation as “the saw”.
People we be fearful of us, afraid to cross us because of the scary stories that have been told about our unforgiving nature.

Have you ever been around a person like this?

It’s like you’re constantly walking on eggshells around them. They’re constantly grumpy and the type of person you generally stay away from unless you absolutely have to be around them.
But if this is the look and feel of unforgiveness why do we tolerate in our lives.

Why do we choose to look like “the saw”?

For me I know it’s because it’s easier than having to deal with the confrontation of forgiveness.
Forgiveness takes work, maturity, and ownership while unforgiveness takes nothing, well at least it seems like nothing.

But in the end unforgiveness takes everything.

It destroys relationships and families. It causes heartache and pain. It causes us lose sleep and in a lot of ways effects every area of our life.

In the end we end up looking just like “the saw”.

So seek forgiveness, seek forgiveness in those “saw” like areas of you life and stop smashing and severing so many fingers.

I’m No Writer…

Because I still type with two fingers.

Because my grammar is horrible.

Because I spell like a 3rd grader.

Because I’ve never used a thesaurus to help me write.

Because I’ve never taken a creative writing class.

Because I never got anything higher than a B- on any paper I wrote in college.

Because, because, because…I’ve never this, that, and the other thing.

I’m not a writer because, because I have a whole list lies that I believe about myself that keep me from writing.

I’ve been a blogger. I’ve been a blogger for a few different Christian websites and for a couple of blogs at different churches I’ve worked at.

But a writer, me, no I’m no writer.

That’s until a few weeks back…

I recently had the opportunity to take a full career assessment from Crown Financial and according to results I’m a writer, in fact it’s one of my career strengths.

But to see that on paper and to hear some one I’ve never met tell me that still doesn’t make it true, at least it doesn’t make it a reality, right?

I spent the first 30 years of my life basically having no self-worth and not believing I would be much more than a time clock punching wrench turner.

One time I did have an English professor tell me that I was a good writer, but that was Community College and well, I had wrenches to turn and a time clock to punch. But I still think about that professor and how awesome it felt to have some one actually tell me I was good at something.

While I may not be a writer I sure have wanted to write and have enjoyed and felt super fulfilled whenever I have had the opportunity to write.

I remember the first time I ever had a blog of mine posted on a popular Christian website. It was such an awesome feeling. To have some one see worth in something I wrote and then to know people actually read my blog and posted positive comments about it, it was crazy.

Then to have the editor from that website send me an email and request that I write more and that he wanted me to be a featured writer for that website, I was blown away.

But sadly my self-doubt kicked in because people didn’t comment on some of my blogs and some of the blogs I sent in didn’t get posted.

See, I knew I wasn’t a writer.

So I stopped writing, I stopped answering his emails and his request for more blogs because I’m not a writer. He was just desperate for blogs and I was his last resort.

But then I started my own blog to find out if I was “good” or not and you know what, people actually read my blog, not a lot but enough to give me a little confidence about my self to continue writing.

So when I sat down with that career counselor and he told me that writing is one of my strengths and I told him this whole story he said, “well maybe you should try writing some more and stop believing the lies I’ve been telling myself.”

So you know what, I am a writer…

I’m a 2 finger typing, no thesaurus using, horrible spelling, bad grammar using, non-creative class taking, B- getting writer.

And I’m good with that.

follow through…

It’s funny how certain dates bring forth feelings of wanting to change, birthdays, anniversaries, and for sure on New Years day January 1st every year.

We want to lose weight, get financially responsible, stop smoking or drinking and start doing a whole list of really good and healthy things.

But more likely than not on February 1st those things we tried to stopping we’ve started doing again and those things we wanted to start doing we’ve stopped a few weeks back.

I think the biggest hurdle in the way of us actually accomplishing these goals is that we are letting a date dictate the reason why we want to change.

Change is hard and uncomfortable but be that as it may, change is absolutely necessary.

We all have behaviors, habits, and a whole list of other unhealthy thing we need to change in our lives.

And while a date on a calendar is never a good reason to start making changes I think it can give us a good and solid starting line.

But if you’re like me you’ve set a lot of amazing starting lines but what about a line to measure follow through?

Follow through…

I tell you one thing, if I could actually measure my level of follow through on certain things I might actually be able to start make some changes in my life.

I have a short attention span; I like to start things because I love a good challenge. But I’m horrible at finishing most of the challenge task I take on because I easily lose interest once the initial challenge of starting is over.

I don’t see follow through as a challenge. I see it as a painstakingly long and arduous task and besides a good leader delegates, ooopps, I mean empowers some one else to do that, right?

WRONG!!!

I’m starting to see that great leaders are great at follow through.

Delegating something to some one should never take the place of follow through. I’ve seen this in my life by those that have been leaders in my life.

If we just delegate something to some one and don’t follow through things fall through the cracks, words that were said get forgotten, and promises that were once made get broken. People get hurt, walls are built up, and resentments destroy relationships.

So this year my reason to change is my lack of follow through.

I want to take on the challenge of actually following though on something from beginning to end, personally and professionally.

This year is not just about setting goals but actually following though on them. It’s not just about the initial challenge of starting but the continuing challenge of following through.

I’m tired of throwing out stale bags rice cakes in February, having 40 bottles of sparkling flavored water but freaking out because there’s no soda, that I was going to stop drinking.

I’m actually going to follow through on the goals I set this year and who knows, I might actually make some needed changes this year.

just write…

Just write…

Just take the time everyday to sit down and write something. It doesn’t have to be prefect, in fact don’t try to be prefect just write something, anything.

But what if the world I’ve lived for the past 18 months says, “Anything you write has to be perfect, it has to be liked, retweeted, and it has to get me some more followers.” Remember your platform.

But what if I only have 140 characters to say it in…

You know what, never mind , it’s too much pressure, someone has already said what I wanted to say and besides who really cares what I have to say anyways.

Madness…

That’s just a glimpse of the madness the goes on in my head every time I sit down and try to write something.

This year I’m going to try something different though, something out of the modern day ordinary. I’m going to try and live my life beyond 140 characters. I’m not going to try and capture the perfect picture to post on instagram, I’m just going to post the messy one, the one that represents real life.

Life right now for my family and I is messy, it doesn’t make sense at times, and I’m tired of trying to make it look like it isn’t messy.

I recently resigned from a great job, moved in with my wife’s family, had a huge blow-up at Thanksgiving with them and recently moved out of that house.

I’m a pastor who’s working in a machine shop, punching a time clock and not currently going to church.
I feel angry at the church, disillusioned with the whole deal, sad that it doesn’t have that “loving feeling” anymore. I love Jesus but the church and me, well were like a teenage girls Facebook relationship status “It’s difficult”…

So I’ll write…

I’ll write about it and maybe sometimes I post it on my blog, maybe sometimes I’ll write something and never post it, maybe I’ll write on paper and throw it in a fire because I hear that’s freeing (I think I told someone to do that one time in a counseling session gosh, I’m such a hypocrite).

But I’ll tell you one thing I’m going to do starting today…

I’m going to write…

I’m not going to listen to the madness going on in my head. I’m not going to worry about anyone reading it, if it can be retweeted or if it will get me any new followers.

I’m finally just going to sit down and write.

The whole theme of this new blog of mine is learning to live life beyond 140 characters. I’ve spent way too much time in the past few months trying to fit my life into the perfect parameters of the social media world.

So Mr. Jeff Goins, I’ll take your 500-word challenge and gladly accept it. Everyday I’m going to sit down and write my 500 words. I’m not going to try and edit them I’m just going to write them…

Heart Check…

“Above all else, watch over your heart; diligently guard it
 because from a sincere and pure heart come the good and noble things of life.” Prov. 4:23

External vs. Internal

That’s where a heart check begins with me.

Am I spending all my time focused on my external, my works and reputation?

Or…

Am I spending any time at all focused on my internal, watching over my heart?

To be honest…

I live in the external and struggle with the willingness to surrender to the internal…or to be even more honest, the eternal, God and the work that He wants to do on my heart.

The problem with this way of thinking is that it’s useless.

Because, in times of struggle and weakness my works and reputation are of little value.  It’s my heart, it’s the watching of my heart that truly matters.

I love what the verse in Proverbs says:

“Watch over your heart…because from a sincere and pure heart come the good and noble things of life.”

And really, it’s my heart that God’s truly interested in…

“What sacrifice I can offer You is my broken spirit
 because a broken spirit, O God, 
a heart that honestly regrets the past, You won’t detest.” Ps. 51:17

A Year Ago Today…

Do you remember where you were a year ago today?

I do…

Do you remember what happened a year ago today?

I do…

In fact I’ll never forget where I was and what happened a year ago today.  I was in a cold, large room with a group of people anticipating possible life changing news. As the news was announced that huge room grew colder and everything we once knew changed from that day forward.

“Your opinions don’t matter.” “We want to trust you but not sure we can,”  were just some of the life changing words said that day.

It was on that day, that fateful day in November, that what once was, would soon be no longer.

It was on that day, that the fear of death and the insecurity of an unknown future reigned supreme.

It was on that day, a year ago today, that a dream and a passion that once seemed so strong was now shriveled up and all but gone.

As I sit here and think about what happened a year ago today, I can’t help but be grateful for that fateful day in November.

I am no longer where I was at a year ago today…

My opinions matter, I’m trusted, and I will in no way forget how it feels to be where I am at today.

Thank you God for where you’ve taken me and for the work you’ve done in me since that fateful day, a year ago today.

Compromise…

In a lot of ways compromise is a contentment killer for me.

I’m talking about the kind of compromise where you let temptation have its way.

When you know something’s wrong but you do it anyways.  You compromise your standards a little bit.

Maybe you don’t give into the full temptation this time but you compromise with it a little bit so you can keep some of your dignity and have a little bit of pleasure too.

But I know if I give into a little bit of temptation this time I’ll give into a little bit more the next time, then a little bit more, and then little bit more and then, well, I find myself flat on my face and the temptation that I thought I had control over now has control over me.

One thing I know to be true is that a little bit of compromise can go along way.

The first part of John 10:10 says:

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy”

I know that in my life the thief comes for me through compromise.

When I give in to a little bit of temptation, when I compromise with sin, it not only steals and kills my joy it destroys my confidence and trust in God.

Instead of me trusting in God for my joy and pleasure, I trust in sin and find myself joyless and in constant pursuit of self-driven pleasure.

I lose sight of the promise Jesus gives in the last part of John 10:10:

“I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” 

Compromise robs me from the truth of this promise but being content in the truth of this promise keeps me from compromise.

Don’t let a little bit of compromise kill your contentment!!!

Grace and peace…

Truth and Circumstances…

“You can never know the truth of your circumstances unless you have first heard from Jesus.”

If you follow me on twitter (@real_recovery) this was my first tweet of the morning today.

I was reading Henry Blackaby’s Experiencing God devotional this morning and this was one of the first lines I read:

“Truth is a person not a concept and that person is Jesus Christ.”

Then came the line that I tweeted thing this morning:

“You can never know the truth of your circumstances unless you have first heard from Jesus.”

Talk about a 2×4 to the back of the head!!!

I know I skip right over this fact when I think I am in control of things.

I don’t wait to hear from Jesus.

I completely stress out and try to figure everything out so when I go to Jesus about a certain situation or circumstance “I know” what to and ask Him for when I finally remember to pray about things.

 “Everything you need is to be found in me.”

Hosea 14:8 (The Message)

I have this verse pinned up in my office and as I read through this devotional this morning this verse popped in my head.

I have this tendency to think that by me doing the foot work and because I’m such a “great” planner and problem solver, that somehow my tireless efforts are going to make God’s job easier when it comes to certain circumstances in my life.

How freakin’ arrogant and self-righteous!!!

This week has been an amazing week!!!  I have learned a ton about how much of an impatient person I am and today was just another eye opening experience in that learning process!!!

When I try and figure everything out on my own I miss out on what God what’s do in my life during any and all circumstances I may go through.

What I need to realize though, is that God has everything I will need as I go through any and all circumstances and situations in life.

But I need to stop and listen to Him because He is the only one who knows and can speak the truth along the way.

Grace and Peace…

Breathe…

 

“OK God, what’s up?”

Ever had that thought before?

I know I have plenty of times.

I thought something was going one way and then out of the blue you find out that’s not the case.

Yesterday I talked about contentment framed around three little words from a children’s TV show:

“Happy waiting patiently”

As I woke up this morning and had some quite time one word came to mind in regards to these three words:

“Breathe”

Maybe I just need to slow down and breathe.

I need to take time and realize that God is moving even though it may not seem like it at times.  I need to realize that He is moving but in His timing, His perfect timing.  Not in my impatient, flawed, and “I need it right now” type timing.

“The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

    He makes me lie down in green pastures.


He leads me beside still waters. 

    He restores my soul.” 


Psalm 23:1-3 (ESV)

To me these verses are all about breathing.

Breathing in the fact that God is directing and in-charge of my path and loves me enough to give me time to breathe.

In fact He will provide the time and place for me to breathe.

And in those times and places He will not only give me the chance to breathe, but He will restore my tired and weary soul from all my tireless efforts and pursuits.

So let me encourage you to breathe today!!!

Grace and peace…